I’m sitting here this afternoon, knowing I should post a blog, as I haven’t for about a week, but wondering what the hell to write.
As I look out my office window, there are a few chooks scratching on the front lawn and Law, the old red Kelpie, is snoozing in the sun. The cattle are grazing and the paddocks are brown. Everything looks as it should.
But inside the house, there is an expectation. We all know something big is about to happen. Our lives are about to change. Probably not that much, realistically, but enough for us to rear back and say ‘Whoa, what’s going on here?’
We’re not the only ones about to experience their first born heading away to attend school, tomorrow and we won’t be the last. We’re still going have a child left at home, unlike some friends whose third and last child heads off. They’ll be ’empty nesters’!
The sitting room is full of suitcases, doonas, a fan and her school bag. When I asked her what she was thinking, she shrugged and gave me a cheeky grin. ‘I’m not thinking at all,’ she replied. I laughed and said that was a good idea, one I practiced often!
I wonder how I’m going to feel, when only number one son gets off the school bus on Monday. I wonder how I’m going to learn to cook for three and not four – I’m guess there will be lots of leftovers until I adjust! I wonder so many things and yet it’s the natural progression of life.
I want to know how she is going to feel when we kiss her goodbye. What she will that night as she crawls into bed knowing that not only has she just left home, but is starting her first day of high school, the next morning.
Maybe it was my own horror experience at boarding school, which is making me so sad about her leaving. Maybe, I’m just not ready for the sun to set on this part of our life.
She’s ready, though. More than ready!
So if I sound a bit melancholy over the next few week, while I adjust, please forgive me. I’ll be fine once I wrap my head around what is about to happen tomorrow.